


Dead and Gone

by castielcakes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Grief, M/M, Sam in Hell, Suicidal Dean, Suicide, suicide note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:42:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielcakes/pseuds/castielcakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean couldn't handle living without Sam, who died while a vessel for Lucifer. He jumped into Hell, permanently ending himself. Dean couldn't live without him, even with his love for Castiel. Castiel couldn't help. The end came too soon for both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead and Gone

"Dear Cas,  
I'm sorry. I love you. But there comes a time in someone's life that they can't stay in one place too long. For me, that's here. I never wanted to do this, but I can't do it anymore. I love Sam. I couldn't let him go. I'll never forget you, maybe I'll see you again one day. I hope so. I'll think about you forever, up in Heaven or wherever I end up. I might even end up with Sammy, down in Hell. I want you to continue living happily. Fall in love again, be happy. I hope you don't miss me; let me go. It'll only hurt worse if you dwell in my death. I'm so sorry, I love you Cas. I'm crying as I write this down, leaving tears for you... Take care for me. I want nothing else besides you to be happy again. I couldn't stay with you, not without Sammy. I thought I could cope, but I just can't. I'm tearing myself apart, Cas. Can't you see? It'll be much easier without me around. All I did was cause you trouble. But it was worth it, for me. Thank you for loving me, dealing with me. It means a lot. Good bye Cas, I love you. -Dean." 

As Castiel held the note in his hand, corners wrinkled from the many times Castiel looked at it, Cas found himself crying again. It's been 2 months since Dean's suicide. He killed himself with a knife in the spot where the hole opened up for Sam to go to Hell, getting rid of Lucifer. Cas still hasn't gotten over him. He can't; he loved him too much. He wasn't happy, he never found love again.

Cas looked at Dean's note, every night. And each time with his own tears, a knife laying next to him. He wanted so badly to do it; to end himself. He couldn't bear this life either anymore. Dean was the only one holding Castiel in a stage where he can live, happily. Now as Dean lay buried in the dirt, Castiel can't help but think. "What would happen? Who would miss me? There's no one left." But he knew it was the only way. It grew each night, the dread of going another day with a hole in his chest, where Dean used to be. 

Memories of Cas and Dean were flooding Castiel's head. When they first met, first hug, first kiss, when they fell in love. Cas's chest hurt too much, his heart beating. He began to write his own note...

"Dear Whoever Cares Enough To See This,

I can't do it. I'm sorry. I lost my love, Dean Winchester. It's too much. Good bye, sweet world. Take care."

And with that, Castiel slide his knife through his heart, thus stopping his breath. It stopped everything, Castiel's body hitting the floor with a thud...

And Castiel's spirit stand looking over his body, dead on the floor. Where's the reaper? 

"Ready to go, Castiel?" The reaper said from behind him. 

"Yes, I am." And started to walk away. 

"I love you Cas, never forget." Castiel turned to see Dean's spirit heading the opposite direction. 

"Bye Dean. I love you." Cas whispered, knowing Dean was already gone. Cas walked into the light with the reaper, and then they were gone. Dean and Cas were both dead and gone. Their love brought them together with happiness, and ended the same tragic fate. The darkness got the both of them.


End file.
